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Trying to move along with business as usual over here on LMoS, so let’s just hop to today’s topic of how to deal with annoying co-workers. Due to COVID-19 / Coronavirus, your significant other may be your co-worker or perhaps it is your dog. Either way, I’m not sure this post will help in those situations; however, it could spark a creative idea of how to approach conflict moving forward!

Keep reading for tips regarding how to deal with annoying co-workers!

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Before we begin, let’s define annoying. When I think of bothersome co-workers, I picture people who talk a lot, don’t respect boundaries, clip their toe nails at their desk, drag on meetings when they could have lasted 5 minutes, etc. Those are annoying things. What isn’t annoying, but just plain wrong is harassment. If you are continually harassed, please take notes of specific instances with details and dates, then speak to HR. I also recommend telling someone else who is not at work, in case HR doesn’t do anything for you / it becomes a larger issue. You can also report things to your state’s workforce commission and they will try to fight your battle for you, as well as take on legal fees and such. I know that was a bit heavy, but I wanted to mention it, as it is super important. Be your own advocate!

Without further adieu, here’s what you came for:

Tips for Dealing with Annoying Co-Workers

Wear headphones. I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m going to say this again. As an extroverted introvert I enjoy talking, but also have a strong urge to get my work done. Sometimes I deal with annoying co-workers by simply drowning them out. I’ve also been known to put in headphones and not play anything, just so it looks like I can’t hear you. Hah! Gotta do what you gotta do.
Give grace. We are all human, cut people some slack! If they are talking to you a lot, they may not get a ton of social interaction elsewhere. If they have poor behavior in some areas, they may not have grown up with similar lessons as you. OR they could just be annoying and know it - LOL. Either way, be kind and if you can tolerate it and it isn’t hurting anyone, you might consider leaving it be.
Don’t react. Some people annoy others on purpose, but if you don’t give them the stirred up response they are looking for, they might just stop! People like this are often beyond logic and are not well reasoned with. If you need to respond whether it is over the phone, email, or in person, give yourself a cool down period if you are mad. Overall, keep calm and carry on! Try not to let things phase you. Easier said than done, I know!
Be direct. This isn’t a free pass to be mean. You can be direct and still be gentle. I’m just asking you not to assume they know they are doing something annoying. If you say “hey xxx, I really need to finish this report, can we circle back later”, 9 times out of 10, they will say “oh gosh yes - chat soon” type of thing! Also, try to relate what you are saying to BUSINESS and not your personal feelings. Think for the good of the company and make sure that intention comes across when discussing.
Get higher ups involved. Just because someone isn’t sexually harassing you, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get your boss and/or HR involved. I’ve been verbally harassed and it is an important issue too. If you need to talk to management, be strong, stand up for yourself, and bring data and details, not just feelings. I would also recommend bringing it up as soon as it occurs if it is a large issue that affects business (not your feelings). When I truly have an unresolved issue with a person, I have always brought it up with my boss asap. I let them know XX happened and I handled it, but mention I wanted them to be aware. I take notes and such, then when it happens again it isn’t my boss’ first time hearing it and they know it is an actual problem. All I’m saying is don’t “cry wolf,” and try to handle things yourself when you can. I rarely bring things to my bosses, so when I do, they know I really mean it.

REAL LIFE EXAMPLES

Here are some annoying co-worker instances that I experienced. Some had good endings and some had bad endings. Not that sometimes there is no ending. Have courage and be kind, that is all I can say.

The Lunch Story
At one point in my career, I had an issue with my lunch disappearing from the community refrigerator. After a time or two too many, I had had it. This day I not only noticed my lunch gone, but it was in the trash can… with my food still in it! I reached out to HR stating the issue and they actually had cameras where they could see what occurred. They told me they handled it, but never mentioned specifics (as a good HR department does). Later that week I received an apology from the person who left me hangry. Coincidentally, we brought similar lunches to work and they always thought it was theirs / that they left it in the fridge. This wasn’t a huge deal and it felt silly bringing it up to HR, but it was loosing me money and time… and just plain annoying! Oh and of course I forgave them ;)
The Meeting Dilemma
As a project manager, I have led many a meetings. I have worked with a lot of lovely, but mostly chatty people. Some annoying things these people did was show up late to meetings, have side conversations, and throw the meeting. It took a while, but eventually I nipped these habits in the bud by having a 0 tolerance policy. I started meetings at 5 minutes after (give grace!), nicely called out side chatter, and confidently steered the meetings back on track from side-bar conversations. This is a perfect example of being direct for the betterment of the company and the respect of the time of others.
The Pull Aside
I never liked to get someone’s boss involved, but I will if I have to. For example, cool ops team, you don’t want to take the time to respond to my call / email for 2 weeks, but I HAVE to get this done and it is my job to move the needle? Fine. Let me cc the COO. It gets me a response within the hour every time. It is my job to move the needle and make sure things are progressing to my boss’ liking and I’m going to do what it takes (within reason, obviously ethical) to get it done. I always, always, always try to give people the benefit of the doubt before taking drastic action, but in this specific case I knew someone was doing something wrong AND I knew they knew it. I tried to reason with them, mentioned it to my boss, and still it was a no-go. They responded once more, so I cc’ed their boss and my boss. My boss (who was their boss) was on the same page as me, so I had no issue doing this. Well, this person was PISSED and pulled me over privately to really lay into me. This is annoying, as you can’t always predict when they will do this. I’m pretty thick skinned, but when I’m blindsided and the things they are saying are hurtful, it’s hard to react well. My only tip for this is don’t let them see you cry. High tail it to the bathroom!!
The Call Out
I’ve only had a handful of verbal abusers in my day, but one instance stands out in particular. This person would irrationally go off on not only me, but my co-workers as well. I knew it wasn’t personal; however, I decided I didn’t want to deal with them anymore. I told their boss and my boss and just started forwarding emails and taking notes regarding conversations. During my following review, I told my boss that it was still occurring and if he didn’t stop, I was going to take all these notes to HR. That worked and it stopped… for a while. That is until they decide to call me out in a meeting. I was leading the meeting and I asked everyone to stop talking so I could get started on time. This person responded back (in front of the group mind you) “or what? you’ll report me to your boss like before?” Obviously they were just trying to be hurtful, but it embarrassed me more than anything. I mentioned it to my boss later and he said he was sorry and he would talk to him. Not to be dreary, but this didn’t really get resolved, as I left the company soon after. It was in no relation to that person/issue, just wanted to let you know that this was a case where it was never truly resolved.
The Allegiance
I once had an issue with a co-worker. Well, I didn’t have an issue with them, but they had an issue with everyone else in the way that they communicated. They were rude, called people out in public, and thought they were better than everyone else and therefore were the exception to the rule. My boss kind of let me in on that in the beginning, as they asked me not to talk directly to this person without them present. One of their favorite ways of calling people out was on slack, in all caps, in front of everyone. They did this one day and I responded with something along the lines of "this isn’t a good form of communication, thanks for the information, will update”. I’ll cut to the chase - I was then let go because of this. As much as my boss knew this person was like that, they ended up taking the co-worker’s side. Obviously not a great ending, but it was what was supposed to happen! It was not a great culture and I’m glad to be gone. I wanted to share this experience, because not everything ends happily; however, you can always choose to learn and see the silver lining! You can read more about this story here.